I sniff and smell foul play,

And as my mother’s saying goes.

When you’re not sure what to say,

Always listen to your nose.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton January 11, 2004 – All rights reserved

Now he’s grey, he understands

The saying: long of tooth,

The distance from his gums to hands,

Is stretched more than the truth.

His ears are growing longer

And his mind has suspect thinking,

He’s the opposite of stronger

And I think his nose is shrinking.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton November 6, 2007 – All rights reserved

There was a young man
from Cork who got limericks
and haikus confused

(Author unknown)

Children who are prone to eating worms,

Should boil them first, to kill the germs.

And a hearty meal of congealed mud pies,

Is far more wise than flies with fries.

But the biggest mistake, that a child can make,

Is to try to bake a spider cake.

To be placed in an oven erodes its rights,

And can often produce a cake that bites.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton April 12th, 2005 – All rights reserved

I have to admit

That I’ll be quite annoyed,

When my heart takes a hit

And I’m off to the void.

With my body encased

In a tatty pine box,

Will I find myself based

In the land of lost socks?

And of what virtue is that

The logic full begs,

When I’m as still as a doormat

And no longer have legs?

 

© Copyright Philip Barton March 13, 2005 – All rights reserved

Gardening is a wonderful hobby,

That speaks to a more natural life.

The hands sift the soil

The back bends with toil,

I love just watching my wife.

© Copyright Philip Barton January 21, 2008 – All rights reserved

Of all the scary jungle beasts

That prowl the midnight house,

None is quite so frightening

As the sabre-two-tooth mouse.

With mighty squeaks,

He boldly seeks,

For children’s toes to nibble.

So cover up your feet

Lest they get wrinkly-wet with dribble.

© Copyright Philip Barton, July 10th, 2021. All rights reserved.

So hang on boys and girls

For yet another year.

Though life’s bizarre

We’ve come this far

And somehow now we’re here.

And judging by the past,

Though the present’s far from humming,

It’s going to seem a blast

Compared to what it is that’s coming.

© Copyright Philip Barton, September 25th, 2021. All rights reserved.

I watched him

As he turned the cork

With vigour

Round and round.

As I viewed

His arm unscrewed

And fell off

On the ground.

© Copyright Philip Barton, 1 July 2021. All rights reserved.