© Copyright RD Barton 24th March 2026. All rights reserved.

Did I ever tell you that I love you,

Cheese sandwich, with onions, when I’ve got ‘em.

That my love will always be true,

For you are the wind beneath my bottom.

© Copyright Philip Barton 1st July 2021. All rights reserved

All of the scribes in English

Can be found in a single book.

Every one ever written.

You simply have to look.

It saves a lot of library space,

And is only rarely changing.

That single book is the dictionary

And it just needs rearranging.

© Copyright Philip Barton, February 14th, 2026, All rights reserved

I need to get new spectacles

And have my hip replaced.

My back is sore and what is more,

My knee needs to be braced.

Arthritis strikes my fingers.

On one toe’s a big chilblain.

I’m overdue a hearing aid.

And possibly a brain.

© Copyright Philip Barton, February 25th, 2026, All rights reserved

Some lines are quite light-hearted,

Others dark and deep.

Some lines are prose uncharted,

And others rather cheap.

Some hang out – just let it be,

With casual incoherence.

Some thrust themselves upon me

With a tawdry, dank appearance.

I sometimes have to beat a word

To force a line in shape.

And sometimes when it gets absurd

I simply sit and gape.

© Copyright Philip Barton, July 10th, 2019. All rights reserved.

It’s International Naughty Day.

We do things reprehensible.

A ditty deed to do dis day,

Is write one that is sensible.

© Copyright Philip Barton, December 21st, 2020. All rights reserved

It’s good to keep your body parts

In proper shape and trim.

Wash your feet and shave your legs,

But not if you’re a him.

Brush your nails, but not until

Your ears are all picked clean.

No one knows about your nose,

We’ll leave that sight unseen.

Next your hair and then your teeth

But use a different brush.

It’s no excuse to say that you

Were simply in a rush.

Hair hanging from the toothbrush

Is really hard to swallow.

Now its time to empty bowels,

And when I’m done you follow.

            © Copyright Philip Barton February 14th, 2008. All rights reserved.

Enough of silly nonsense

About bodies and their parts.

They’re a note of desperation

In a ditty’s fits and starts.

They serve no sense or purpose,

And brighten no one’s day.

So eyes and ears and noses

Please just goeses

On your way.

© Copyright Philip Barton, March 16th, 2026 All rights reserved

From the shoulder it grew

Soon the floor it will touch.

And an arm too few

Becomes a leg too much.

© Copyright Philip Barton 26th March 2022. All rights reserved.