I’ve lived a rather silly life,
I spent it cooking pancakes.
I had some highfalutin plans,
But merely those that man makes.
There seemed to be a lot of time,
A large and unspent sum.
That endless future, far in front,
Sneaked round and kicked my bum.
I turned around and there it was,
Time drained from out life’s cup.
Now I’ll never, ever know
What I’ll be when I grow up.
© Copyright Philip Barton April 11th, 2017. All rights reserved
I’ve walked a straight, but different road
and pondered on the end.
I must be nearly there because
I’m going round the bend.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 3rd May 2020. All rights reserved.
A party going
Dragon fly
Flew in and drank the
Flagon dry.
© Copyright Philip Barton 11th June, 2019. All rights reserved.
A gang of biscuits dressed in black
And riding Harley bikes
Rode into town this afternoon,
We’d never seen their likes.
They waggered* round or sat in groups
With cups of steaming tea.
We hid between the curtains
And the family’s old settee.
But in they came and found us
And we shrank against the wall.
They were squat and round,
Close to the ground,
Not very big at all.
But they were many, we were few,
We didn’t stand a chance.
They forced us to the table
And I saw my brother glance
At the cupboard in the corner
Where he kept his gelignite.
He made a dash and threw it as I
Clenched my bottom tight.
And that is what we had to face
And now you know dear Mother.
The reason there are biscuit crumbs
All over me and brother.
* wagger (v): to swagger around in a not entirely successful attempt to look menacing.
© Copyright Philip Barton 21s March 2018. All rights reserved.
He slammed the car door really hard
And then began to shout.
The problem was his body was
Half in yet still half out.
He really made a dreadful fuss
And stirred up quite a scene
And later on he grew up
Half the man he could have been.
© Copyright Philip Barton September 12th, 2002. All rights reserved.
Women are quite delicate
With easily broken dreams.
When you need to make amends,
The solution, so it seems,
Is a warm, romantic gesture,
So buy a bunch of flours.
Plain and rye will guarantee you
Many silent hours.
© Copyright Philip Barton, July 23rd, 2025, All rights reserved
A humble soul,
With one foot in the hole,
Just gusting along on life’s breeze.
Though his body is spent,
He’s getting it sent,
To cryogenically freeze.
© Copyright Philip Barton, April 9th 2019. All rights reserved
Elbows were a useful tool
In human evolution.
For drinking beer and thinking
They were quite a revolution.
© Copyright Philip Barton, January 4th, 2019. All rights reserved
One day I’ll put some trousers on
And be like other men.
My head held high, with steely eye,
And every now and then
I’ll really be quite sensible
And walk with measured tread.
I’ll give up being silly,
And I’ll play my uke instead.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 12th March 2001. All rights reserved.
