Author name: Philip Barton

I breakfast on ten cigarettes,

And five coffees, in addition,

I also eat some fingernails

To provide me with nutrition.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton 29th May, 2019. All rights reserved.

Rain begins as we all know

When wet paths start to glisten,

And when roosters wake and start to crow

The sun comes up to listen.

Babies are born with a plaintiff cry

Because of the needs of a nation.

And higher prices when you buy

Are the cause of inflation.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton 1st July 2018. All rights reserved.

I found some mushrooms on the lawn,

But I think I’ll take a pass.

If I get it wrong I’ll end up

On the wrong side of the grass.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton, April 2nd, 2026, All rights reserved

High Ditty is a formal skill.

A peak in rhyming styles.

In venerable institutions

Scholars coach the linguaphiles.

A B.A. gives one status.

So work hard, don’t be lazy.

Nonsense is in peak demand

In a world gone batshit crazy.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton, April 2nd, 2026. All rights reserved

As a man who was trapped in a woman’s body.

I lacked self-esteem and worth.

After moaning and groaning,

And constant postponing,

She finally stopped and gave birth.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton, June 20th, 2026, All rights reserved

Political feeble thinking,

Is a serious disability.

We have dumb politicians

On ridiculous missions.

It’s artificial imbecility.

 

© Copyright Philip Barton, July 10^th 2026, All rights reserved

The deeper ditty meaning

Lies beneath what’s plainly seen.

Eschew the superficial,

Find out really what they mean.

Dig down deep, then further

For the truth, then revelation. 

Illumination, ecstasy,

Reverse the mind’s castration.

The meaning of the everything,

Complete and pristine pure.

The universe is yours to take,

I’m nearly rather sure.

©  Copyright Philip Barton, July 3rd, 2025. All rights reserved

The skin on his scalp got thinner and thinner.

One rainy day, out fell his brain.

An elderly gent, though a scoundrel and sinner,

His life is now down the drain.

 

©  Copyright Philip Barton, January 25th, 2026. All rights reserved

“Keep the bloody noise down,

I cannot hear me think.”

He raged and stormed

And banged and slammed.

Just taken to the brink.

Shouting all abouting

He bellowed through the house.

He roared and glared,

And really scared,

That squeaky little mouse.

 

©  Copyright Philip Barton, May 16th, 2025. All rights reserved