He stretched his legs and flexed his arms
And nimbly bent and twisted.
He doubled over back to front,
Sure foot and supple-wristed.
The crowd was awed and silent,
But then they stood and cheered
As he waved and with a flourish
Up his bottom disappeared.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
The Queen has sacked the servants
And is moving soon to Dallas
You can’t get good help anymore,
They just don’t know their palace.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
I’m absolutely definite
That I’m really not too sure.
I’m even more or less in doubt
Whether less is really more.
It seems that life is relative,
An ambiguous, veiled curtain.
I do though know,
And boldly state it so,
That indecisiveness is certain.
The concept of infinity
Is a theory that’s extreme.
Black and white,
And day and night,
Are not always what they seem.
If everything’s a shade of grey
And straight lines really bend,
Then I have to start to wonder,
Is this the beginning,
Or the end?
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
As a young lad in New Zealand
Ewes were all that I could find.
But then when I grew older
Ewes were always on my mind.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
I was born in February ‘46,
A baby like no other.
The doctor stared,
Then raised his hand
And soundly smacked
My Mother.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
Something really lumpy
Was rolling in my shoe.
What followed then was rather strange,
But absolutely true.
I took my shoe and shook it,
And hoped the stone would go.
Imagine how I felt
When on the ground out fell my toe.
Things quickly went from bad to worse,
My feet came off as well.
I simply went to pieces
And my face and spirits fell.
I calmed myself and placed my feet
Securely in one hand.
Unfortunately, my arms fell off
Just when I went to stand.
Well, then I really panicked,
And shook with foolish fears.
The trembling made my legs fall off
And then my nose and ears.
Bits of me were everywhere
All jumbled and diverse.
But I pulled myself together,
Things really could be worse.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
Today I fell in to a hole,
A hole I didn’t see.
It lay there right beneath my nose,
I fell in on one knee.
The other quickly followed,
It usually tags along.
And there my nose and knees and me
Sit wondering what went wrong.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
When eating beans and spicy food
Eat properly and politely.
Refrain from the unmentionably rude
By clenching all cheeks tightly.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
A mouse sits on my office floor
And looks me in the eye.
He twitches nose and whiskers
And I wonder whether I
Could spend my life like him
Chasing crumbs and turning wheels,
And whether he’s found happiness
And what he really feels.
I wonder what makes him tick,
Is there love and hope and shame?
But most of all I’m wondering
… Is he wondering just the same?
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
