Enough of spending all my days
In nonsense contemplations.
I need some depth, like Plato’s
Philosophical foundations.
Not a lame inconsequential,
Good for just a snigger,
But a name in all the history books
Like Shakespeare – only bigger.
I’ll put all silly far behind,
And make a new beginning.
It’s the end of times
For nonsense rhymes.
And the start of Nobel winning.
© Copyright Philip Barton, August 10th, 2025. All rights reserved
When people ask me what I do,
I try to avoid saying what is true,
Because it’s just not easy to casually say,
Oh, I write nonsense every day,
It’s hard to be taken seriously,
There’s a certain lack of glamour.
There’re no corporate boards,
And no seat in the Lords.
Just constant complaints about grammar.
© Copyright, Philip Barton, July 10th, 2019. All rights reserved.
I placed the Doona on the bed
And the cover in one hand.
I began to push the Doona up,
But it didn’t go as planned.
So I got inside and began to pull,
That plan came into doubt,
As the inside soon became quite full,
And left me no way out.
I kicked in panic,
My screams were manic,
That monster had me trapped.
In its bowels, dark satanic,
Something in me snapped.
I fought a brave and savage fight
And gained the upper hand.
I saw a distant glimpse of light,
And hoped that soon I’d stand.
Outside at last, I raised one arm,
Triumphant in my glory.
Make sure you never come to harm,
By heeding well my story.
When slumber comes so warm and deep,
That foul beast lurks in wait.
It can swallow you when you’re asleep.
Don’t let that be your fate.
© Copyright, Philip Barton, August 15th, 2019. All rights reserved.
He seemed to be a normal child,
But standing all alone.
His eyes were dark and wild
In a body not full grown.
He’d never been inside a zoo
But tigers were in books.
He stared, as boys so often do.
And a tiger exchanged looks.
Through the bars, the boy was in,
With snarling and commotion,
Call the next of kin,
People wailed with emotion.
The very worst was feared,
A boy so young, a life gone south,
But when the dust had cleared,
A tiger’s tail hung from his mouth.
© Copyright, Philip Barton, October 1st, 2019. All rights reserved.
Anony Mouse was not well known.
Of him, but few had heard.
His squeak and squeal
Had scant appeal,
To anyone not furred.
Through life he moved most timidly.
Ate cheese in tiny pieces.
Most polite,
He was clean (in spite
Of many scattered faeces).
But there’s one day in all lives,
Of mice, both near and far.
To take a stand for a cause that’s grand.
To shine and be a star.
And on that special day,
That’s now famous in the house.
Anony became a legend,
Renamed Magnani Mouse
© Copyright, Philip Barton 15th November, 2023. All rights reserved
Just one big toe,
Then it went pear-shaped.
Before too long
They’d all escaped.
Where they went,
No one knows.
Follow the scent
Of William’s toes.
© Copyright Philip Barton June 11th, 2024. All rights reserved
A question often pondered
When odd socks depart the scene,
Is where they flew or wandered,
And whether they were clean.
While some the sage’s path do roam.
Others flap in flocks.
Some end up in the Catholic home
For lost and holey socks.
Common to such footwear,
From those soggy laundry batches.
All seek their life to share,
With perfect colour matches.
© Copyright Philip Barton May 8th, 2025. All rights reserved.
A surgeon of vision
Was quick to decision,
The nurses were not quite so sure.
The resulting incision
Was lacking precision
And the patient was cut to the core.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
If your hope is for social advancement,
Then you’ll need to fit in with the herd.
You must laugh at things that aren’t funny,
And be serious with matters absurd.
© Copyright Philip Barton, 2010. All rights reserved
