I gazed into my navel
With a mystic inclination.
My eyes transfixed and piercing
As I sought illumination.
My enlightenment was focused,
Cosmic consciousness alert
Soon I attained the realisation
I’d lost a button from my shirt.
© Philip Barton March 12th, 2019. All rights reserved.
She had her Daddy’s ears and nose
She took them whilst he slept.
She gave him back one ear to hear
But all the rest she kept.
© Copyright Philip Barton November 1st, 2018. All rights reserved.
A lifeless, woolly cardigan
Laid waste by fickle fates
Lies flattened on the road
Bound for the plain and pearly gates.
© Copyright Philip Barton February 20th, 2025. All rights reserved.
It was the longest chip in the world,
This record would take some beating.
It was coming out of his bottom,
Before he’d finished eating.
© Copyright Philip Barton January 18th, 2018. All rights reserved.
When lions and tigers prowl around
And hungrily try to find me.
I quickly climb the nearest tree
And pull up the trunk behind me.
©Copyright Philip Barton 1st July 2021. All rights reserved.
There is a place for everything
And all things have a place.
Remember, always keep your tongue
Securely in your face.
Don’t place it in your pocket
As your trousers might get wet.
It’s always safe to hold your tongue
But later, not just yet.
It’s important that you mind your tongue,
So check once every week.
Open wide and look inside.
Is your tongue in cheek?
© Copyright Philip Barton, December 26th, 2010– All rights reserved
Click to see this ditty read live by Philip on youtube – https://youtu.be/KwRALxRln8c
Mice often live in freezers,
Where ice cream tubs are placed.
They eat with silver tweezers,
And are gourmets in their taste.
Pristine, white and frilly
Serviettes adorn their throats.
It’s really rather chilly,
Which is why they wear fur coats.
© Philip Barton February 26th, 2024. All rights reserved.
(Click to see this ditty read live by Philip on youtube – https://youtu.be/YTdFt5ZJuoA)
Brushing teeth is very good,
On this you can rely.
Most children know this, as they should,
But many don’t know why.
It keeps it nice and clean up there,
And that’s okay I suppose.
But so would brushing anywhere
And you wouldn’t brush your nose.
No, when teeth are brushed they sparkle
And glow within your head.
So with your mouth wide open
You can read at night in bed.
I’m writing up my will
And I think you’ll be happy to see
That I’m being extremely sensible
And leaving it all to me.
© Copyright Philip Barton 10 March 2018. All rights reserved.
